Has she died in the night?

We speak last night ,

Your cough diagnosed as a chest infection

And sounding reminiscent of 2 and a half years ago

When a fiercely fought against hospital admission

Gave you additional years of life.

I am torn between dropping everything and driving north

Or holding my nerve to continue preparing lectures and work

For our international students who arrive next week:

You have always expressed pride in our work.

There is no call this morning,

If you had died in the night,

I think I would know by now: your carer would be checking.

So, I manage the silence and tension by staying south

And continuing ( with mixed success) to work ,

My mobile by me at all times:

I will ring later.

My emergency overnight bag however,

Remains packed in the back of the car-

…Just in case….